Introvert Psychology vs. Gödel, Escher, Bach (Should I Stay or Should I Go?)

By débora Ewing
I don't feel like going outside, but I have this thing to do I really want to do.  You know what an introver...maybe you don't, exactly. You might think an introvert is a standoffish person who likes doing things alone, but that's only part of the story.  The part you need to know is this:  Let the introvert do her thing, but keep communication open - even if there isn't any sound.  The introvert doesn't want to be alone; she just can't control the energy draining from her. Interaction is an app that saps the battery.

When I first moved to Annandale, VA, I realised I could easily fall into a pattern of going from home to work to home.  I researched to find people I could deal with doing things I actually like.  It is useless to force yourself to do things you dislike just to connect with humans - no, it really is. See above comment on sapped battery.

So I found this book club, and we're reading one book for over a year now: Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid. We meet fortnightly, and we never number as many as ten - for an introvert nerd it's a perfect arrangement.  I was lucky to find them.

Because I value the opportunity, and I studied the reading, and I'm ready for it, I am still deciding whether I will go.  Odds are good i will.  I know myself, so I rarely fight the Introvert. If I won't stand up for her (me), who will? 

If I do this thing I will be glad I did.  And if I have to dip early, they won't be mad.  Adulting is Doing The Thing; supporting is allowing a person the required space.

If you're with me so far, you're probably introverted, too.  You can look like you're having a great time when you go do the thing someone wants you to go do, and it can be true.  But when calculating your schedule, please remember to write in some down-time for yourself, away from not only the thing and society, but even from the person who wanted you to do it. If that person values you, they will let you go away for a while.

Or choose to not do it because you don't want to give up your personal energy for this. You're the banker - you decide who gets an energy payout and who doesn't.  Pay yourself fee for the transaction.

Comments

  1. MariSaturday, 13 January, 2018

    I used to be right on the line, but I know I have slid into myself in the last few years. I like people. Interesting people, anyway, but they wear me out. The struggle to organize my thoughts in such a way to interact verbally is far more difficult than writing. Competing for airspace? I just listen, usually. So now I am an introvert. Most likely, officially.
    I've narrowed the number of things I attend to --none, right now. Book Club and all of its competing humans ended up not worth the 20 mile each direction trip. So be it. I like your take on it. Very much.

    ReplyDelete
  2. débora EwingSaturday, 13 January, 2018

    I did go, and I am glad I did. Each situation can be different, though.

    ReplyDelete

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