#uncoffeed...

My inner child is throwing a tantrum. She wants to adventure, dammit, and there isn't one imminent. I outsided for lunch, and the weather was nice enough - overcast, humid, mildly windy, Michigan springlike here in Virginia. I used to feel this restlessness in the spring as a kid. While I sat quietly in class, or in front of the TV, or up a tree somewhere, I was fighting an exasperating urge to fly away. I flew in dreams, seated but not with wings, hovering over my neighborhood streets. I want to skip class right now. I can't fly away at this time. My day job is busy; I have assignments to complete. My cat is huggy ever since I came home from Dogville, and she'll be devastated if I leave her again so soon. She still doesn't want me to pick her up, but if I'm prone she lies on my back and snuggles me with her head and one paw. I need to change something, and I am not sure whether I mean a temporary change or permanent. I feel so itchy on the inside. I reco...

I've been exposing my authentic self by working on art in public. Recently I took a booth at a restaurant so I could eat and keep working. People stopped intermittently to compliment my work, and I said, "Thank you!"  And I meant it, and I didn't get all awkward, even when someone wanted to discuss further. I Advanced the Discussion. Gimme a patch for that. Sunday morning I checked into Beanetics  for a French Press, a pastry, and a table to work. This is where the magic happened. The little Barista-chick who likes my illustrations is leaving; next Saturday is her last day making our coffee. We - she, I, and the other regulars - joked about getting matching coffee bean tattoos on our wrists. The Scottish guy doing genealogy work at the next table was polite or uninterested, but a dancer named Heidi leaned in close to check the detail of my work. Her mom appeared later and asked whether Heidi had seen my work; yes, she had. Heidi's mom is named Margi, h...

Last week at my home-bar (read: pool hall ), I got lectured on what it means to be American - by a guy who is a native of New Zealand , lived in London for a decade, and married a Colombian American with a loving extended family.  In his opinion, the thing that makes America great is the 1st Amendment: Freedom Of Speech. Having lived in several countries, he assures me that this is not an option in most places on the globe. He also told me his Colombian family has been Democratic for decades, and decided at the last minute to vote for Trump - 30 votes - because someone they knew personally told them that Trump is not racist and "will pick up a golf club with anybody." They hated Hillary that much.  I've never played golf with anybody, and I have interacted with a lot of non-golf players.  I can't say for sure that playing golf is a fair measure of one's racist tendencies.  I harbor doubt. I was able to reciprocate insight by lecturing him on the ...

Misunderstanding Awkwardly assess: Valuate each one of us, Misconstrue the worth. You weren't offered service But a place at the table. Accept equal space But be willing to receive What you didn't know. Here's an obvious Easter Egg -  Yours for the discovery.

I'm in a funny place these days, mentally. Physically, maybe, since Annandale is fascinating. But mentally I'm in  uncharted territory. I have lived a lot of lives - I count ten. I've surpassed Cat Status.  Having been divorced and living in my Tiny Cottage for just over a year now, I am feeling something new: comfortable in my own skin. Comfortable with the ramifications of whatever comes out of my mouth, because I am certain that when the  words came out I meant them. Comfortable with completely changing tack if the origin of my words no longer suits the situation. I can learn. There is nobody else but me, and I am still afloat. I am unrepentant. I didn't do this by myself. I have the support of people who believe in me when they have no reason to believe, other than they see me from outside of me.  They see my efforts and failures, and they never question whether I am going to get back up. Sometimes I wasn't sure I'd get back up, but people whose persp...

The United States of America currently has an unfiltered babyman in the Oval Office, one who repeatedly uses petty insults in attempts to discredit his opponents ( "a very low IQ individual, ever see her?"   - I'm sure he misplaces commas.) Here is a perfect example of what we're talking about when we say White Patriarchy. Who else would think it's okay to talk like this?? The narrative was never meant for all white people. It got leaked when the tiny Kings realised their white servants and black slaves were getting chu mmy. Divide and Oppress. These days, several other theories are floated to explain how the War Between the States wasn't about Slavery.  We like the States' Rights Theory best - "Don't tell me how to live my life. You don't know me"  - but if you're in a certain demographic you feel obligated to tell other people how to live their lives. Obligated. Typical Narcissist ploy: I never said that. You're ta...