Keep Your Options Open vs. Battle of the Spam

By débora Ewing
I got my current job when I wasn't looking for a job. I made a good move. It was also an example of me following my own advice (yeah, that happens sometimes): always follow up on opportunities; you can say no later, if you want to say no. Yeah, saying no is not always easy, but it is always an option.

As much as I enjoy my Tiny Cottage, I keep checking for other accommodations. I'd not have found the cottage if I hadn't been checking for opportunities, so.  Of course the ones that look too good to be true are just that, but sometimes I will send a query. Today's spammy response was especially creative, or possibly creepy:

 Also i will like you to know that the rent charges is not really the issue ,but your absolute maintenance of my townhome is most important thing.
One Mrs Yolanda price called me about the townhome ,I told her that I can't give her the townhome because she loves smoking,drinking and don't want her to get drunk and damaged my property one day so If you are still interested, No extra fees.
I personally will actually come visiting you sometimes during the year as my new tenant. but i will not sleep in the townhome with you for your privacy. so please i want you to complete  the rent application form below for the next step.

RIGHT?? Shame on you, Mrs. Yolanda price.  Usually I would just delete and disregard, but I happen to get another interesting bit of spam today. So I copied and sent this as a response:
 Hello.

Do not regard on my English, I am from China.We put the malware on your system.Then I pilfered all privy data from your system. Furthermore I had a little bit more then just data.The most interesting evidence that I have- its a video with your masturbation.I adjusted malicious software on a porn page and then you loaded it. The moment you picked the video and tapped on a play, my malware at once downloaded on your Operating System.

After loading, your web camera made the video with you self-abusing,  furthermore I captured precisely the porn video you chose. In next week my virus grabbed all your social and email contacts.

If you need to destroy all the compromising evidence- pay me 870 united state dollar in Bitcoins.
Here is my Bitcoin wallet address - 1GJcp55nwA2LQq9AvXDTmjUgoQXBJpmRbi  

You have 24 hours to go after reading. As soon as I see transaction I will destroy the evidence forever. Other way I will send the video to all your colleagues and friends.

I haven't heard back from my new potential landlord. Maybe I should have sent him  a picture of all my privy data. It's pretty uninteresting, but I did recently install a new seat. Also none of you have informed me that you received video with my masturbation, so I should be safe.

This episode is dedicated to Moe, who reigns over spammy email.

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