Redux: What We Are Not vs. Math, Art,and Lies Our Bodies Tell - originally posted 2018

By débora Ewing
My book club is wrapping up  Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid in November. We enjoy our digressions so much that they leak over into emails between meetings. Barney Sperlin sent us Mathcircler Dr. Alon Amit's excerpt from a discussion on Quora: 
Math is not something boys are better at, it's not a spectator sport, it's not a system of arbitrary rules...it's not easier or better in base 12 or base π, it's not a young person's game, it's not useless in the real world, it's not beholden to the real world, it's not learnable in one year or from one book or one website...it's not beyond your grasp if you recognize that it will take time and dedication and active effort...
From Keith Ramsay, Pee-Haich-Dee in mathematics:   
Mathematics is not just the most stable part of our favorite theories of the world.
Replace "math is" with "I am."   You see anything useful in there? I do.

I also found in my box this morning an email from Margie Summers, continuing a discussion we had regarding another blog post:
A few days ago I saw a quote by Elizabeth Gilbert that struck me as dead on:
“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”
That made me think of a truth I learned a long time ago: you can tell a lot of lies with your body. Women often tell such lies ("I really want/am enjoying this sex we're having") as currency to trade for short-lived pseudo-affection. Men often tell them ("This sex we're having means I love/value you") as currency to trade for sex. Porn and/or Alternative Appliances are appropriate outlets for scratching loveless itches. People are appropriate outlets for love and truth.
That is all.
Margie's dead on. I've seen both women and men fall prey to the same set of lies on either side of the deception.

 In order to take advantage of everything you are, I think it's useful to mind the things you are not. 
  • You are not a box or compartment.
  • You are not learnable in one year, or even two. 
  • You are not a spectator sport.
  • You are not beyond  your grasp if you realise it's going to take time and dedication and active effort.
Margie and I plan on living life to its fullest every day, even if some of those days feel like downers.  They are part of the process of fully living.  I am not a thing with defined edges. I'm a freaking ampersand.

 I am a process. So are you. Go do some processing. 
Further Reading: 

 How To Choose A Lover - Finding a Soulful Connection
This article should be assigned reading in middle school. It might help to dissipate some of the false information about what a boyfriend or girlfriend, and eventually spouse, is supposed to be.

 BIG MAGIC by Elizabeth Gilbert
I haven't read it yet; this one's going to get past my "no more books" fatwa. I suspect it's brilliant.

Comments

  1. MariMonday, 06 August, 2018

    Women want affection that sometimes spills over into sex. Men, affection seems to always to spill over into sex, it just does. "Hug me, cuddle me -- then go away!" just isn't male. That is why women love courtship and men love escorts. Chase, then cut -- or Cut past the chase. ;-p It does not excuse pursuing sexual expression beyond the limit imposed by either partner. When it stops being fun, it's done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. débora EwingTuesday, 07 August, 2018

      ...and this is now we know I'm a dood :D I'm on team Go Away Now but Maybe Bring Me Some Tea Later?

      Delete
  2. AnonymousTuesday, 07 August, 2018

    Excellent blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers?

    I'm hoping to start my own blog soon but I'm a little lost on everything.

    Would you suggest starting with a free platform like Wordpress
    or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I'm totally overwhelmed ..
    Any suggestions? Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. débora EwingTuesday, 07 August, 2018

      OH, please do it! I went with Blogger only because I wanted my own domain and it was cheaper. I've found the platform very easy to work with. I did work with WordPress in the past, and that was easy, too. Start with free, because you may scrap your first attempt (I did!) or your second (I think I did that, too.)

      Thank you for your questions and your very kind words! You are probably familiar with this sentiment, but I never really know whether I'm making sense at all. It is nice to be understood!

      Delete

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